Letting the sun shine through: finding my theme music

I assumed it would be so easy for me to choose a song that spoke to me as my theme music. I'm that person who has a song that relates to any situation and bursts into song at a moment's notice. But the idea of picking just one song, and in particular a song that I felt spoke about me, was a real challenge. I lamented to Rich that I didn't have a theme song. He voted for Fishbone's Everyday Sunshine, as he says that song makes him thinks of me. In my mind, though, that was more of me from his perspective.

So I started perusing my iTunes library looking for inspiration. I can name all kinds of songs that I think are theme songs for other people, but this is supposed to be about me. And that was really giving me a hard time.

We went out for a million errands this morning and didn't make it back to the house until after 1pm. As we came around the corner, I noticed a neighbor having an Open House and called my mother to see if she wanted to go (what? you don't go to all the Open Houses in your neighborhood just to see what they've done?). As I talked to her on the phone she sounded distressed and told me one of their tenants is moving out in two weeks and there is a bit of drama surrounding it all. The housing market in general is complete crap these days and my parents are concerned it will be hard to find a decent replacement tenant.

She rallied to come down and tour the neighbor's house but ended up sitting in my house for several hours afterward lamenting about their current state of affairs. The whole thing is a bit of a downer. By the time she left, I noticed it was 4:15pm and I still had not chosen, let alone written about, my personal theme music. And honestly, I was having a hard time finding inspiration.

I have always been an optimistic person, sometimes to a fault. When my brother was 11, he was in a bit of a mood and my mother cautioned him to cheer up so he wouldn't ruin everyone else's Christmas. As she said this, I motored past at the tender age of four and declared, "he's not gonna ruin my Christmas." Ever since, our family's subculture has included the colloquialism of not letting someone ruin your Christmas.

I'm also an overly sensitive person, letting other people's problems become my own more than I necessarily need to. This aspect of my personality makes me great at my job and a pretty solid friend to have, but can take its toll on me. I've spent probably the last five years or so actively trying to find some sort of balance between sensitivity and selfishness for my own sanity.

And as I have learned in great detail while working with my medical team for this pregnancy, I'm not really the type of person that most people are used to dealing with. I'm not sure if I come across as too ... something ... for them to be able to handle. Sometimes that's refreshing for folks but I also can imagine that it can take a bit to get used to. I have to remind myself that the rest of the world is a lot more shy and reserved than I am.

As I pondered all of this, I hunted around trying to find a song that fit me fairly well and stumbled upon Ethel Merman's I Got the Sun in the Morning. I have always loved Ethel Merman in that she doesn't sing anything halfway. Browsing through YouTube, though, someone commented that she sang with all the finesse of a truck driver. Ah, to each their own. But no matter how you feel about her singing, you can't help but smile when you hear her sing and possibly even tap your foot along.

Since I limited myself to just one song, this one seemed most fitting. You may not know how to deal with me all the time, but you can't help but smile while I'm doing my thing.