We're so close it's hard to tell where one of us ends and the other begins

The last time I woke up this morning - at 5:45am - it was to the sound of the cat puking somewhere downstairs. I admit, my first thought was, "maybe one of the dogs will clean it up and I can keep sleeping." But then my horrible-cat-mother anxiety got to me and dug its sharp claws into my sleepy subconscious, convincing me that if I did get up 30 minutes later to find out the cat had choked on some foolishly abandoned Draino, I would probably feel really bad about it. So I gave up and got out of bed.

The cat is fine, the dogs are fine and the carpet is fine. I, however, am very tired. Pseudoephedrine is a stimulant and I had a hell of a time winding down last night. Once I finally did get sleepy enough to go to bed, I snuggled up next to my husband who had only had four hours of sleep the previous night and was sleeping HARD.

From midnight to 5:45am, Rich proceeded to beat the crap out of me in bed. I got an elbow to the face twice, hard enough to make me yell out in surprise and he didn't even stir. He continued to crawl on top of me no matter how much I moved to the edge of the bed and at one point put his knee pillow on me before planting his sore knee on top of it for comfort. When I got up to pee he spread out at a 45° angle across the bed with his arms stretched out in front of him. There was approximately a 2 foot square available for me when I returned.

I shoved him back to somewhere close to the middle of the bed and I might have exclaimed a "dammit" or two in the process. It was like we were on a boat leaning to starboard and he kept rolling on top of me, all knees and elbows.

Normally I'm the spouse abuser in this relationship, taking up a "confidant starfish" position across the bed, his tender temples giving way to my elbows of steel. But last night his complete exhaustion and all those sinus-clearing uppers in my system made a bad combination. By morning, I was ready to get in the shower and to the office just to get some rest.

Here's hoping tonight fares better or we may have to get bunk beds. I call top bunk!