Learning to let go

So much for that chain. I blame going to bed at 9pm with a raging headache and not dragging myself out bed until 9am this morning. But today is a new day. I was full of woe earlier this evening and tears started to well up in my eyes despite my best efforts. We discovered one reason for this was my blood sugar was 55, so some grape juice and cheese toast helped in that area. But Rich and I agreed that the other things causing me woe were things I didn't necessarily need to fret about on a daily or hourly basis and since there wasn't much I could do about them short term, we'd stop bringing it up. The problem hasn't gone away but it's not beating down our door and I don't need to carry it around with me all day and night like a cumbersome angst-filled beanbag chair.

It's a fundamental difference in how Rich and I are wired. Rich can get information, give an opinion on it (i.e. "wow, that's fucked up", "that guy/gal is a real asshole" or "shit, man") and then generally let it go. I, however, can't take casual conversations about how Cindy Lou Who is upset with Betty Lou Who or some stranger kicked a kitten without carrying that information around with me and fretting. If I can't change the Who children's behavior (or the kitten kicker) it causes me much woe. So from now on, if Miss Who wants my advice or if I witness kittens being kicked, I'll step in, but I'm not going to waste the brain power on things that I am not told about or can't change.

We'll see how this plays out. I'm trying to learn how to sprinkle some selfishness in my life. I don't have a lot of good examples seeing constructive selfishness in play without someone being an asshat. The reality is, though, that it's entirely possible for me to get what I want a lot of the time without lighting the proverbial place on fire.

Right now what I want is to go for a long walk on the beach while listening to all the Christine Kane albums I downloaded from iTunes this afternoon. She played at BlogHer last weekend and I knew I would be buying more of her music after hearing just the first song. Hello, my name is Genie and I'm an impulse buyer. Shiny!