All I want is a proper cup of coffee ...

We've been having trouble with the coffee pot at the office lately. It's a very nice Capresso that was original bought with the idea of making hot chocolate, but has evolved into our deluxe coffee pot. This week has been hard on us coffee drinkers for two reasons. One, Matt has been on vacation all week. Matt. The only person who can make coffee worth a damn in the entire office. I've considered changing his job description to include "must make at least two pots (minimum 16 cups) of coffee each day the office is open" to prevent disasters like this from ever happening again.

Matt has tried to teach us coffee novices how to make a pot of coffee. But we all suck at it. And this isn't even the "oh, let's do a crappy job so Matt will have to do the coffee" kind of sucking. This is bona fide craptastic coffee that we make when Matt is not here.

So it's bad enough that Matt is not here this week. But then, to add insult to injury, the coffee pot has been acting up the past few days. I'm not sure if our coffee maker is a jealous vixen of a coffee maker, and she's pining for Matt's return. But the coffee pot has leaked at least four times now, and two of those were this week alone.

And these leaks aren't the "oh, could you grab me a paper towel, the coffee maker is leaking again" kind of leaks. They're the "HOLY SHIT THE COFFEE POT IS LEAKING AGAIN! SOMEONE GET ME A TOWEL! A BUCKET! DAMMIT, MATT, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US?!" kind of leaks.

John made the coffee on Tuesday. And coffee exploded on the counter, in the silverware drawer, and all over the carpet. So I made a coffee containment contraption (CCC), i.e. a cardboard box, and installed it around the coffee maker. And I left specific instructions that when, not if, the coffee maker leaked again this week (because I knew it would), to come get me and I would investigate the cause. I was getting all CSI on this coffee pot's ass.

And yesterday, John told me the coffee maker had leaked again. He grumbled and groused and said horrible things about our crappy coffee maker. But we can't replace it. It may be the Holy Grail of Coffee Makers. The only thing that is so well aligned with Matt's style of coffee preparation so as to make a perfect cup of coffee every time he touchs it. And we like the thermos pot so the coffee stays warm.

So John shuffled off to get a cup of coffee from Kroger next door and I started cleaning up the carnage. Hooray, Coffee Containment Contraption! All the coffee was in the box. The box was gross, but we wouldn't have to clean the carpet again. As I picked up the coffee pot to empty it, I noticed it seemed very full. Very full indeed. And it was brimming over. While there were still 2 cups of water in the reservoir and about 5 cups of coffee in the box. Hrm. It seems John tried to brew a pot of coffee and put it in a coffee pot that was already half full. And while I'm no Matt, I do know you can't put a pot and a half of coffee in only one coffee pot.

So one can hope that we won't have any more coffee maker mishaps this week as we anxiously await Matt's return. I have replaced the CCC with a fresh box and we all hold our breath until the pot is done brewing. If he doesn't come back soon, I may have to resort to a cup of tea.