Cystitis - \Cys*ti"tis\ (s?s-t?"t?s), n. [Cyst + -itis: cf. F. cystite.] (Med.)"An inflammation of the bladder ... This annoying and irritating condition most commonly affects women, but can affect all age groups from either sex."

My definition?

Cystitis is the feeling at 2am that you have to pee and the realization at 2:04am that you think you're going to die. That someone has found a way to get in your pants and fill your bladder with Drano. The following two hours involve pacing the house, raiding the medicine cabinet for pain killers, calling your mother at 3:30am in tears for her to bring you some pain killers, taking Darvocet at 3:45am on the stairs with only one ass cheek on the step because lying down, sitting, standing or doing much of anything really really really really hurts and falling back asleep at 4am with the shivers and your shoes still on.

It involves sleeping through the alarm at 7 only to have the phone wake you up at 7:47am. Then putting on a fresh set of sweat pants and taking enough Advil so you can drive to work (Darvocet "may cause drowsiness" - bless its little pink-pilled heart). There's the calling of the hotel in Atlantic City to cancel reservations and the subsequent conversation about them needing 48 hours notice to cancel because of the holiday. A note is made to dispute the $250 charge after the fact. Then a meeting at 9:30 and another at 10:15 (still in sweat pants) and about 4 liters of water. Then a doctor's appointment at 11:15 and a nice chat with a Scottish nurse about the Scottish New Year and her bout with cystitis on a ski trip twenty years ago.

More antibiotics, another referral and another case of water. An e-mail sent from the pharmacy waiting area about the dll testing that needs to happen before Thursday and some Knowledge Base article proof-reading. Then another long nap.

I'm so glad I don't work tomorrow.