DLand - Dead Man's Party

I had a very spooooky weekend. And I'm just now getting around to telling you guys about it. Such is my life these days.Friday afternoon the company all headed to Busch Gardens for some geeky esprit de corp and such. Actually everyone else left at 11:30 and I stayed behind for my therapy visit and to call someone about reinstalling their server on the drive to Williamsburg. Such is my life these days. I met my comrades at about 4pm under Big Ben. Realizing this was my first chance to sit down and eat that day I took the opportunity to have a pizza. Amusement park pizza is nothing to write home about, but since it was my first meal in close to 24 hours it was Italian ambrosia. Gassed up and ready to go, we all headed to the roller coasters. Now the month of October is particularly neat at Busch Gardens as the whole park becomes part of “Hallow-Scream” fun. New France becomes Sleepy Hollow and the Festhaus becomes the Fiendhaus. It's a riot. I heartily recommend it. Well, I'm apparently very brave in that I will actually ride the roller coasters. Heather wanted nothing to do with them and Kevin apparently had some part of his marriage vows include “will not ride roller coaster and leave chicken-shit wife behind”. Mrs. Bossman (walking to Loch Ness Monster): “So I guess if I was too scared to ride, you wouldn't stay behind, but would still ride without me?” Bossman: “Damn straight.” Me: “We would spend a good 20 minutes making fun of you, though, trying to convince you to ride with us.” Mrs. Bossman: “I appreciate the sentiment.” So after we rode each coaster once it was time for the Sleepy Hollow train ride. It was only rated two pumpkins on the one to five pumpkin scale (even Heather rode that ride). It was not very scary, but very well done. They even had a headless horseman on a real live horse (no it wasn't a clydesdale despite it being Busch Gardens) chasing the train. Very nice. After the train ride we decided that we were starving. So it was off to the FiendHaus for the live show and German food (what could be more scary than red cabbage and kraut?). The show was a lot more like a Vegas show than a kid's show, but we didn't mind. They played Duran Duran and Oingo Boingo, for crying out loud. But we enjoyed the scantily clad “mad scientist assistants” and I continually wondered what each of these folks got paid for this gig. I never knew there were so many William and Mary theatre and dance majors. The FiendHaus was (I believe) two pumpkins again, so we were determined to be spooked. So first Bossman and I headed for the Wilde Maus. Holy crap, that is officially the world's most scary roller coaster. Basically, the fact that it's designed for pre-adolesents means that anyone over 100 pounds who rides it takes their life in their hands. At least it feels that way. I know many folks who absolutely refuse to ride that ride. Next it was off to the Carnival of Something (I didn't have a program) in Italy. Italy had been converted to Fiesta Dimentia and they converted the waiting area for the Roman Rapids into a haunted maze. It was five pumpkins and we were determined for a spooooky time. Well, I have to tell you, I think I was more of the entertainment than anyone working in the maze. I am a Grade A pussy cat when it comes to stuff like that. And they thought it would be good to make me go first. So I headed in with my 3-D glasses on and the solid reassurement that the maze staff was legally not allowed to touch me. As if I was going to turn into a Haunted House Rules Lawyer at every turn. There was smoke and mirrored walls and heavy drapes in all the doorways. I think I screamed bloody murder a good half dozen times along the way. And about half way I met up with The Clown. The Clown was a girl about 5 feet tall with a bright pink wig and a little honking horn thing. When I got to her I stopped and commanded “I know you're there! You can't touch me! And I've seen Stephen King's It. I know what you're all about.” She grinned maniacally and honked her horn. I jumped about two feet in the air and shrieked. Basically then for the rest of the maze I moved at about Mach 7. And everytime I slowed down The Clown would honk her horn from right behind me and I would scream and keep truckin'. She even followed me out into the park after the maze. After the maze, everyone was commenting on neat things that they saw and liked and I started to wonder if they went in a different maze than I did since I didn't remember any of that stuff. That's when they reminded me about how much of a hurry I was in to get the hell out of there after finding my friend, The Clown. Ah, yeah, right. After the Maze it was off to the Curse of Pompeii (four pumpkins, Heather went first so I was much braver) and then to the Sea Dog Cemetary (normally the petting zoo - I was also very brave as I was out in the open). Not bad for 6 hours in the park. All in all a grand time. Saturday I tortured myself with watching The Shining and then Sunday I switched between Stephen King's The Shining and the World Series. As Jack Torrence started his maniacal rampage about the Overlook Hotel, I was doing my best impression of a Rally Monkey in hopes of actively warding off any creepy vibes. No nightmares, though. So I consider it a success.