I swear, if it weren't attached to me I would throw this Minimed 508 across the room. I'm sitting here typing away and all of a sudden it freaks out (another medical term) and starts beeping. Ugh. It has been going apeshit (technical term) all day. The woman at Minimed asked if I wanted a replacement or a temporary pump and I could get this one back. I have little to no emotional attachment to this particular pump right now and while it's changed my life for the better, I'm not going to cry when I pack it up tomorrow and send it down the river in favor of the new and improved non-screaming model. In the meantime, I've found a few ideas to work around the inconvenience of these minor insulin pump malfunctions. Eating with other people seems to infuriate the pump. It went off at lunch and dinner right about the time food came to the table. So I should only eat alone.
Don't actually eat anything as that involves using the pump to deliver a bolus which of course sends it into hysterics and requires reprogramming it.
Don't talk on the phone. The pump muse is a jealous muse and basically can't stand me giving attention to anyone but her. Most phone conversations today involved me pausing to tear the pump apart.
Don't keep the pump under the sheets while sleeping as the static may build up under them and cause it to go off.
Don't roll over on the pump while sleeping as the physical contact might cause it to go off.
Don't let the pump fall on the floor while sleeping as the jostling might cause it to go off.
Aw, screw it, just don't go to sleep since you'll already be awake when it goes off anyways and it's easier to reprogram it. I think some lucky FedEx delivery guy is gonna get a big sloppy kiss from me when he brings my new pump in the morning. I can't wait.