While driving home last night my weekend trip, I consciously resisted the temptation to speed. I tend to speed not only in the car, but in life as well. It's as if I have a list in my head of things to check off and "finish" in life. Survive puberty (check) Graduate high school (check) Get into college (check) Survive college with degree (check) Get married (check) Get real job (check) Make my fortune so I can retire at 40 (in progress) Buy house (in progress) Own a car large enough for two people and two 90 pound dogs (in progress) Make more little GenieAlisas and Sweetpeas (one day)
But one day I'll check all those off, and then what? I've always been a little spastic when I find myself without a plan - like I'm in the woods without a map. In the past, though, it's always been easy to have a goal. I was not a "grown up" yet, so I was rushing to get all that kid stuff out of the way. Now, it would seem that I'm getting into Grown Up Land (population 1) full swing and I keep thinking that maybe I missed something along the way. Not sure what, really. But just keep thinking that once you check off something and move into the next phase of your life it's not healthy to worry about the things you didn't do earlier. Once you've eaten the ice cream it's not healthy to worry about whether it would have been better with chocolate chips in it.
So the point of all this is I've been trying to slow down. I've been trying to enjoy what Fredericksburg looks like on a Sunday evening without freaking out about how fast I can get to Richmond. Because once I get there, I'm just going to freak out about how much further it is to Williamsburg and then how far it is to home. Even just thinking about slowing down has sated me a little.
I have to remember that unlike Monopoly, you don't get $200 at the end and another chance to go around the board.