Facebook Archive - May 2019

May 2 - Ian: “Mom! Someone took bird poop and drew a heart on this car!”

May 4 - Ian starts hockey initiation today. He is beyond excited.

May 5 - The dog makes a good iPad stand. She’s much more tolerant of the annoying videos Ian loves to watch than I am.

May 11 - I think they said the score was 24-25. All the equipment those kids are using (other than the girl’s roller skates) was gifted to them by Ian. We’re hockey people.

May 12 - My Mother’s Day was a little rough. Ian woke me up at 2am and 6am because he developed a cold and had a very sore throat. (Cough. Cry in pain. Cough. Cry.) 

He then argued that he desperately waaaaaanted to go home to play hockey outside (in the rain) with the kids (while coughing and sniffling and stumbling around). 

We had an important talk that as my child, his needs are more important than mine. For example, his need for warm liquids, settling, and medicine at 2 and 6am is more important than my need for sleep. 

However, as my child, his wants are lower than my wants. His want to go play at our house (even if he weren’t sick) is lower than my want to lounge on my boyfriend’s couch and have my kid rest near me or in the adjacent room. 

Ian had everything he needed (food, medicine, shelter, clean clothes, head petting). And he had a lot of the things he wanted (roller blades, iPad, big TV playing hockey, pizza). And he can want for this one thing all damn day and survive just fine. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all y’all out there putting others’ needs first. Here’s hoping you got some of your wants met today.

May 16 - I know some things look bleak right now, but my son did his homework and chores without being reminded (nagged) and requested Beyoncé’s Homecoming at top volume while he vacuumed.

May 24 - Ian’s friend has to be home by 7pm after school but he doesn’t have any time piece. He just asks me or Ian every five minutes what time it is. It’s not a great system. 

Wednesday he was a few minutes late getting home and got in trouble. So tonight, after we all went ice skating, I took the kids to Target to pick out watches. The Friend kept saying, “as long as it has an alarm ...” 

We also got Nutty Buddy cones cause it’s Friday.

Facebook Archive - April 2019

April 2 - A boy and his dog are watching “Alpha”, a movie about a boy and his dog.

April 8 - Ian’s friend texted and then called during dinner all upset because Ian had cursed in a text to him and “now we’re both gonna get in trouble for it.” Friend figured out how to delete the text messages so the crisis was apparently averted. 

Out of curiosity, I went to Ian’s phone and he’d said, “that was a real dick move.” 

Friend’s older sister had made little cupcakes for both boys but Ian forgot his at their house. Friend texted to tell Ian he was eating Ian’s cakes and even sent a pic of him eating them. 

We agreed it was a dick move and went back to our dinner.

April 15 - Ian wanted this Pokémon all damn day. We finished all our other stuff, he paid $5 of his own money to play, and he made two baskets to win a Pikachu! #proudmom

April 15 - For all the times Tobias has had zero respect for personal boundaries, I heard this “what the hell?!” meow from Ian’s cot to see that he had pushed the cat off the edge in his sleep.

April 18 - Today Ian has eaten: a bowl of Rice Chex, two fried eggs, three pieces of beef jerky, toast, three clementines, two pieces of cheese toast, a banana, a yogurt, a bowl of sweet potato chili with rice and chick peas, a cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream, two plates of Indian food (tandoori chicken, naan, salad with cucumber dressing), a bowl of rice pudding, a turkey meat stick, and a Clif bar.

April 19 - Today Ian and I drove all over the tri-state area. We went to the Derby Star Pro Shop in Frederick, MD to get me new wheels, bearings, nuts, and a rainbow leash. We also got Ian new grips for his bike. 

We had to find a roller rink between there and Herndon, so we moseyed over to Purcellville’s Bush Tabernacle skating rink. It was largely a huge hardwood floored building with some couches around the edge. This led to some debris on the floor that made me side eye people. But mostly I was super proud of Ian’s skating skills. 

How can he be so aware of these tiny children BEHIND him and yet not see shit in front of his damn face?! Gah. 

Now we’re at Kim and Jack’s in Ellicott City for a sleepover. Ian is in the top bunk! And Clarice is asleep after barking her blind face off for hours. It was a good day.

April 23 - This morning we watched videos of planes breaking the sound barrier at the breakfast table.

April 27 - I’m at the farmers market when my phone rings. Ian: “Yeah, so, I lifted this sword over my head?”

Facebook Archive - March 2019

March 2 - Ian and his friend are building one of his play sets in the other room.
Ian: "I'm doing way more hard stuff than you."
Friend: "Bruh. Fire me then."

March 8 - Ian was doing his homework last night. I asked him what the point was of coloring in thermometers? He just looked up from his paper, rolled his eyes, and said, “This is why I go to 4th grade for math.”

March 10 - This morning at breakfast Ian and I have covered envy vs jealousy, ambidextrousness, why Shrop and I get along now, and which hand goes forward in a boxing stance (I am saving that last one for Shrop).

March 10 - Mr. Mister’s “Kyrie” came on the stereo in the car. I was trying to explain to Ian about the term Kyrie Eleison.

Ian: “So is this Christian rock?”
Me: “No. It’s just a rock song. Kyrie Eleison means ‘Lord, have mercy’ in Greek.”
Ian: “So it’s Greek Christian rock?”
Me: “Sweet baby Jesus, you are killing me, kid.”

Fun fact: When this song came out in 1985, a 15yo Southern Baptist Rich Stryker had no idea what Kyrie Eleison meant, so he thought they were saying, “Carry a laser down the road that I must travel.” I kinda like his version better.

March 16 - Ian: “Oh, man, I better wear green tomorrow. I don’t wanna get punched!”

March 19 - “The usual problems” = he has a cold. But it makes my 9yo sound like a Russian novelist over text.