Aug 23 - Ian ate 1500 calories for breakfast this morning, which is more than my allotment for the entire day. I tremble for his teenage years.
Aug 27 - Ian: 'Mommy, do you love me?'
Me: 'I love you very much. All day every day. I made you!'
Ian: 'Well, Daddy did too. With that thing under his penis.'
Ian: 'Yeah, those. Daddy used his testicles and you used your belly.'
Me: 'But I would like credit for growing you for a very long time.'
Ian: 'Yeah, you grew me and Daddy made me a human.'
Me: 'Fair enough.'
Ian: 'Mommy, thank you for making me alive.'