Feb 1, 2014 - 4am "I'm hungry" leads to 4:15 hotdog which leads to 4:30 coughing fit which leads to 4:45 vomited hot dog which leads to 5am movie in the chair with Daddy while I strip the bed and fold up the bathroom rug. Parenthood is not for wusses. Feb 3, 2014 - Peeling my kid off of me this morning as he desperately says, "Don't leave me, Mommy!" is just what I didn't need after five days trapped at home in the snow. And it's gross outside so they won't go on the playground. I went to work and hugged my sunlight UV lamp and counted the days until spring.
Feb 4, 2014 - Ian wouldn't wave to me at the window this morning at drop off. He just stood there staring at me like he was going to the gallows. We talk about the scars of a birth that doesn't go as planned but there are lots of other little wounds throughout their lives. My oldest brother is 54 and my mother still gets misty-eyed talking about how he cried every day at drop off for two years. Not for wusses.
Feb 4, 2014 - I made a wrong turn and told Ian I was on auto pilot. As I tried to explain the phrase, he started sobbing, "BUT IF A ROBOT'S DRIVING THE CAR I WON'T GET TO SEE YOU!" #notforwusses
Feb 7, 2014 - We overslept but Ian didn't flip out. He told me when his feelings were getting hurt and he felt rushed. We sorted it out without a single tear. The car ride involved Ian marveling at the cotton ball clouds and one that looked like a sea monster. He asked for one more hug and said he would miss me but didn't cling to my leg. And he waved at the window! You're welcome, future Ian spouse.
Feb 12, 2014 - Ian: "We talk about Jesus and God but I keep looking for them and can't see them." Me: "Well, they're not really people or things you see." Ian: "Because they have magic?" Me: "Kinda ... Dude, it's complicated." Ian: "Did you know Jesus and God are in your heart? Maybe that's why I can't see them." Not for wusses.
Feb 14, 2014 - We went up the mountain and Ian says his voice sounds funny now. I told him it's because his ears are stopped up. "But I can't feel any boogers in my ears."
Feb 17, 2014 - Ian: "Does Travis have a kid?" Us: "No." Ian: "And he *still* has to go to work?!"
Feb 22, 2014 - As we left the funeral service this afternoon Ian yelled across the parking lot, "Can we *please* go to Target now?" I turned to Rich's dad and said, "the world moves on, Granddad." We've promised him a trip in the morning, as a family.
Feb 27, 2014 - Leaving Toys-R-Us after a pre-arranged 15 minute time limit of "just looking" but not getting any toys went about as well as you'd expect, but I had to give him a chance. We're now sitting in the grocery store parking lot waiting for him to stop sobbing because I "hurt his feelings" by "fussing" at him, which basically involved me calmly carrying him to the car and telling him we were going home. I will not yell. I will not lose my cool. I will crawl in the backseat and snuggle him. But I'm not apologizing to him for kindly telling him he's wrong just because that upsets him and he wants to blame me. So we just wait. #notforwusses