Facebook Archive - February 2017

Feb 1 - My child is sobbing in my arms and asking me if he's awful because the kids at school make fun of him for liking trains. So now I want to punch a bunch of seven year olds in the face.

Feb 3 - Ian made a house for Charlie Bear and Elizabeth after school. He also made two benches and a dining room table and was working on a pool but they don't fit in the current digs.

Feb 13 - One of Ian's classmates just told me, "WOW you're huge!" I know Ian is tall but damn he *towers* over every first grader in the school. Congrats on A honor roll and perfect attendance, Stink.

Feb 13 - Ian and I just had a whole bedtime talk about rigor mortis and cremation and if it's ok to be happy after Daddy dies. We're gonna open one of the pets' urns tomorrow to see what ashes look like. Ian thought maybe they just cut up body parts and put them in a jar "like hands and the heart and stuff." Rich would probably enjoy an Egyptian process but I doubt that's affordable around here. #notforwusses

Feb 17 - This morning in bed, Ian said, "I hope my wife doesn't get cancer one day." I thought it was interesting that he didn't say *he* didn't get cancer, but that he didn't want his life partner to get cancer. 
He then asked how cancer happens and we had a whole talk under the covers about how cancer cells grow much faster than regular cells and they don't die like they should so they end up hogging the space in your body. And that people get "cancer" all the time but 99.9% of the time our bodies fight it off like a cold. But sometimes it doesn't and it sucks. My seven year old now understands more than most adults about how cancer actually works.
We also had a talk this morning about why Daddy acts the way he does now. Why he repeats himself and only says one syllable words like "dad", "mom", "yes", and "no". We talked about how he breathes less than we do now and that it makes him make crazy moaning noises. But it doesn't mean he's hurting, he's just breathing differently. We talked about what apnea is and how it's just like Pop not breathing when he sleeps and then making a huge kerfuffle to get air. 
We talked about how Daddy isn't a baby, but that sometimes when someone is dying they start to act more like a baby than a grown up. It's a big loop life cycle. Ian was concerned Daddy couldn't tell us if he is hurting. I concurred that it's hard to guess what he needs sometimes. But we pay attention to if he frowns. We look at how he's sitting in the bed to make sure it looks comfy. We do our best. Just like we would for a baby that can't talk very well. 
This is hospice. This is normal.

Feb 27 - "Mommy, come look! Gia and I dug a hole for our secret plans!"
If anyone needs a shower dug at Pennsic, I have a seven year old ready to earn $$$. ﷯#callbeforeyoudig

Feb 27 - Ian: "Who do you love more, your friends or me?"
Me: "You."
Ian: "But you've had your friends for longer and I can be annoying."
Me: "My friends are pretty annoying too. All humans are annoying every once in a while."
Ian: "Are bears annoying? Like are they all, 'Hey, Jim! Are you gonna eat *all* that salmon?!'"
Me: "Yes. Bears probably get annoyed too."

Facebook Archive - January 2017

Jan 2 - I am committed to letting Ian do what he wants with his hair and grow it out. But man I wish it would get long enough to stay behind his ears and out of his face. There's a cute kid under that mop.

Jan 4 - Me: 'Ok, bud, let's go. Are you gonna bring your hoodie?
Ian: 'I'm already pretty sweaty from my bike ride and skateboarding so I'm just gonna be my own coat. A human coat.'

Jan 13 - I'm equally proud that he can text me and annoyed he can't find his own damn shoes. #86months #iputthembacklasttimeiusedthem

Jan 20 - Ian: 'After Daddy dies are there going to be big changes in the house?'
Me (thinking he means furniture or something): 'No. Not unless you want to.'
Ian: 'Like Daddy doesn't like it if I say 'crap' but you don't care. So after Daddy dies I could say it.'
Me: 'Well, yeah I suppose.'
Ian: 'But I'll still know he doesn't like it in here [points to his heart]. Daddy and his rules will still be in here.'

Jan 30 - "Mommy, I'm sorry I can't fall asleep I just keep thinking about Daddy and about Ms. Kitterson and how cute she is and about Minecraft and what I'm going to build next and that's a lot of stuff in my brain."

Facebook Archive - December 2016

Dec 5 - Tonight, Ian asked me giggling "Hey, Mommy, what's under there???"
#50months #milestones

Dec 7 - Ian said that yesterday afternoon one of the other kids at the bike rack marveled at the washrag he produced from his backpack to wipe down his seat from the rain. 
Kid: "Wow, your parents must be really smart to think of that."
Ian: "Yeah, that's how we are in my family. Smart."

Dec 16 - Ian and I tried to watch "a Christmas Story". He was super upset that Ralphie's little brother couldn't put his arms down and couldn't get up from the snow. Also the father griping while working on the furnace disturbed him. Once Flick got his tongue stuck to the flag pole and the teacher lectured the class about it, we had to turn it off. That's my boy. #sensitivesoul #empath

Dec 17 - Ian is learning how to type contractions (we're, wasn't, doesn't) and punctuation (question marks and exclamation points), both on the keyboard and the iPhone. He's well on his way to writing his first novel.

Dec 23 - Ian, upon discovering a calculator and using it for subtraction: "Oh my God, you have *got* to try this!"

Dec 24 - I installed Scrivener on Ian's iPad today so he can write his stories.

Dec 24 -I came upstairs to turn on the shower for Ian and he was bustling around his room naked.
"What are you doing?"
"Cleaning my room. Santa's coming."
He won't clean with that fervor again until a date is coming to his apartment.

Dec 31 - Lunch with Ian and we've discussed drug dealers vs pharmacies and gay marriage. Seven year olds are pretty awesome.